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Men are not
spiritually lazy, as some have suggested. Men want to serve God.
The problem is the modern church does not need men’s gifts, or
holds them in contempt, equating them with sin! What if Mary had
viewed the gifts of the wise men this way?
Wise man:
Greetings! We bring you gifts from the East.
Mary:
What are they?
Wise man:
Gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Mary:
Phew! I’ll take the gold, but you can keep that smelly stuff. |
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This is how the church treats men. We love men’s gold, but we
have no use for their smelly
stuff. Competition? Goal orientation? Performance?
Power? These things stink up the church! I challenge you to
answer this question: how
might a man use these kinds of gifts in the local church?
Your brain probably hurts just thinking about it.
Because the church does not need men’s gifts, they feel
rejected. George Barna interviewed Al Perkins, a nominal
churchgoer:
When you reject the things I stand for—excellence, strategic
thinking, progress, efficiency, vision, controlled risks,
bottom-line performance—you reject me. I used to take it
personally, but I’ve minimized the anger by making my church
involvement less of a priority.
John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) warns, “Not
to be needed is slow death for a man.” You kill a
man’s spirit when you reject his gifts. So how can we make men
feel needed again?
· Tell them!
In The Lord of the Rings,
Frodo stumbled many times on his journey to Mordor,
but the words of Lady Galadriel kept him going: “This task was
appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.”
Men need to hear a similar message when they come to church:
We need you desperately. God
has a sacred role just for you, and if you do not do your part
all is lost. Think of the men in your congregation.
Do they know how important they are? Has anyone ever told them?
Have the women of your church ever hosted a dinner for the men
to let them know how needed
they are?
· Expand ministry into
areas where men have expertise.
Does your church offer any “male oriented” ministries? Why not
work on cars? One Illinois church has an on-site auto repair
facility for single mothers and the working poor. Even a small
church can offer free oil changes in the church parking lot once
a quarter. Use men’s talents and watch them get fired up.
· Take an inventory of
your own gifts, then think of creative ways to deploy them for
God’s kingdom.
Encourage others to do the same. Refuse to take a job you feel
unqualified or uncalled to perform
no matter how worthy the cause
or urgent the need. |
David Murrow is director of Church for Men, an organization
dedicated to restoring a healthy, life-giving masculine spirit in
Christian congregations. He is the author of Why Men Hate Going to
Church (Thomas Nelson Publishers). The book has been firmly planted
in the top 1% at Amazon.com since its release in March 2005. He’s been
interviewed on dozens of radio programs around the world, appeared in
newspapers such as the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post and the New
York Times. He’s also written for several Christian magazines including
New Man and Ministries Today, as well as on-line
publications such as Rick Warren’s Ministry Toolbox. He’s a
keynote speaker for Man in the Mirror and the National Coalition of
Men’s Ministries.
David
Murrow spent twenty years honing his skills as a communicator,
producing and writing award-winning television documentaries,
commercials and specials. He’s contributed material to Discovery
Channel, NBC, ABC, CBS, Food Network, Travel Channel, Dr. Phil, The Miss
America Pageant and many others. Murrow has a degree in Anthropology
from Baylor University. He’s served as an elder in the Presbyterian
Church (USA). He lives in Anchorage, Alaska with his wife and three
children. He attends Change Point, currently meeting at Dimond
High School, Anchorage, Alaska.
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